Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.
Age/Gender: 20, Male
Location: Awexometown
Job: Thread Bumper
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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Flash Reviews: 358
Music Reviews: 40
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When our sun evolves off the main sequence life as we know it will have to dramatically change, the green hills of earth will become desolate plains of dust and debris. It will no longer be habitable to human life and we will have to find somewhere else for the human race to live. The only problem is, Where? Well certainly not any of the main sequence stars of spectral class earlier than F or later than K. None of the stars off the main sequence would be able to sustain life either as they are so unstable, the same with neutron stars horizontal branch stars of binary systems. Any sun with habitable planets would have to be between a late F class star and an early K type star.
The reason the hotter, more massive stars (O-A) would not be suitable is because they would not able to hold a planet in orbit at the distance necessary for life similar to our own, the extreme heat close to the star would not be livable at all and if the planet was far enough out it couldn't maintain orbit around the star. The cooler less massive stars have the opposite problem however, any planet that we could live on would be so close to star that it would lock the rotation of the planet so that one side of the planet always faces the sun, making one side very hot, and the other side too cold.
We would be wasting time and energy if we were to stay in our own solar system. The sun would spread out much to fast for us to slowly move from planet to planet, and it would also be impractical because we would be wasting resources and might be running on a limited supply at that point in time. To stop at more then one place would just be delaying the inevitable because the sun is eventually going to throw off its outer layers and they will make the entire solar system a hostile place for human life.
We may, however, be able to find a g type star similar to our own with a planet in a similar orbit that is capable of sustaining life. But that brings up another question. What if there is already life on the planet? Chances are the life that would evolve on a human inhabitable planet would closely resemble earthlike bacteria and viruses which could infect us as we have no immunities to them. We would have to analyze a sampling of the life in a lab and determine if any of the life was in any way dangerous to us, something we probably wont have time to do if we have to evacuate all the people of Earth. In my opinion we would be better off finding a hospitable planet with no life, but one capable of sustaining ours.
In other news, my friend Sexican has joined NG, and he is one sexy Mexican.
Leave me some love!
-Sumidiotdude
Hee hee, Sun exploding below!
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for your
remote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for random times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
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Hey NewGrounders,
I've had a lot of stuff on my mind lately, so I'm going to try to fit it into one news post. So, here it goes:
Well, I was informed that the Tank Awards are going to be awarded, so I am going to express my opinions on what I feel should win.
Games:
WHAT SHOULD WIN:
Impossible Quiz 2: I feel anyone would like this game since it is simple mindbending puzzles that expand your knowledge through comedy and stupidy. Both of the games are excellent, and I do feel it would be an excellent recipient.
WHAT WILL WIN:
NewGrounds Rumble: Pico, Tankmen, P-Bot, what more do you need? One of my favorite games, and I feel that this is going to win with flying colors. This probably wil win beacause it is platformed similarly to the fantastic Super Smash Brothers games, and that any hardcore NG fan would be addicted to. The NG team has never created anything better.
WILD CARD:
Detective Grimoire: Probably one of the greatest adventure games on this site, and it is created by one of the best animators/programmers on NG. The-Super-Flash-Bros have created a mystery masterpiece with a great plot and storyline which makes this game an example for what many games should be like.
Movies:
WHAT SHOULD WIN:
Jerry: A sad, yet powerful movie about many topics. Life, sex, and hapiness are all represented in this great display of tradition and excellence. No other submission has the power to change a person's life than this film right here. HotDiggetyDemon really knows how to create a wonderful submission.
WHAT WILL WIN:
Animator vs. Animation 2: An excellent and creative flash that really displays what NewGrounds is all about: new ideas. This goes beyond normal standards of a submission, and its score proves that. Noogai shows great productivity when submitting a flash with all of his submissions having a high score. True skill.
WILD CARD:
My New Grounds: Allen Awesome has never created a better submission. Many users are against real-life videos being submitted, but I think exactly the opposite. This flash created a collection, and Allen really knows how to get NG users to fall in love with a submission. Comedy and similar thoughts are what makes this one of the greatest flashes ever.
Second of all, many people are criticizing the use of one of my words or "creations". in case you haven't noticed, I often use the word "Awexome" when reviewing or posting in the forums. I am not mispelling the word, and I am not illiterate. Even a few other users has started using the word. I hope it eventually spreads to others. I do not remember who said it, but someone made an allusion to 300 and said an awexome (see?) quote: This is madness, this is awexome!" That quote stuck with me, and I am thankful to them for being a master of words.
Next, I know it is late, but after watching nearly all of the Pico Day submissions, I'd have to say my personal favorite is Pico: Ace Attorney. I have been a fan of the Phoenix Wright parodies, but this submission has gotten me addicted to the games. I got to download the Apollo Justice demo from my Wii, and I nearly crapped myself when I played it. This Pico game is probably ranking among the best Phoenix Worng submissions ever, and I think all of the NewGrounds characters make it even better. Here's my shout out to Emmanuel, and all I can so to you is thanks for this submission, and thanks for having an awexome biblical name!
Remember when we just started our NG accounts, and we were all trying to make it big on the site quick? Well, for me it was not that long ago, and all I wanted that would have helped me overcome my online struggle was to have a couple friends. Well, all I'm asking is that you please welcome my friend Onlyoucansaveus to the site. But be careful, he's Jewish (totally kidding).
Well, while I cannot make flash, I am currently making banners, user pics, icons, or signatures for anyone who would want one. If you would like one, just tell me what background color, what pictures, and what text you would like to be included on it. I'd really like to help anypne out who would be in need of one.
With American Idol coming to a close, I just want to know who everyone is rooting for in the finale. Not to be a pest, but I personally want David Archuletta to be stepped on like a bug. He is disgusting, and he shows no personality and is just a dweeb. David Cook '08!
From my last news post I really appreciate all the people who commented on my Metal Gear Solid video. In case you didn't know, I was Colonel, but that was when I was much younger. It was made for when I was in school, and I really think my teachers liked it, and I'm glad many of you did too.
To bring this news post to a close, I just want to say that my new favorite series is probably Nameless. The stupidity, comedy, and racism in it is so great. Yotam really knows what the concept of a joke is, and he knows how to produce them. For the Canadians, I am rooting for the Penguins in the Stanley Cup playoffs. Yeah, I'd keep talking, but The Office is on. See you later, and comments are always appreciated.
Nah, its just YouTube.
By the way, my friendsBratittude and AntigenAlvin have joined as well, so please welcome them.
Is anyone else concerned with the scores the Pico Day flashes have? I mean, I know all of the absurdly high-scoring videos have gone down after a while, I mean, Isaac Newton already taught us that. Yet, I still wonder if this week's top flashes will make the portal run amkuck. I love all the videos, Tankmen Infinity and Operation Warehpuse especially, but this just seems crazy. All of these have to drop eventually. I have nothing against any of them, I'm just thinking the portal may need to lower the voting power, or another solution. What do you NewGrounders think?
After months of trying, my review finally made the review for a weekly top ten video! Check it out!
Think of these poor, imaginary, and dying whales that are being contained in a heated deathtrap we know as Africa. I will not sleep, eat, or rest until all of our figmented friends are saved. I am going to venture into the unknown and save these creatures out of their sickening purgatory. Who will join me?
Sure, everyone loves Guitar Hero, but the people at Activision and Neversoft need to add these song to their next Guitar Hero:
1. Aqualung by Jethro Tull
Dude, this song is awexome. It was made in 1972, and the song is about a pedophile. I mean, seriously, is that not totally hardcore? If you hear the opening guitar, you probably will recognize the song. If you have never heard it before, you can check it out here.
2. In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida by Iron Butterfly
Yeah, this song makes you feel high, but it is a true classic. This song was made in 1968, and becomes really addictive. I have been a fan of this song for a long time, and I still don't know what In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida Means. For those in need of awexome guitar, you can hear the song here.
3. Black Betty by Ram Jam
Bam-A-Lam! This song is kickin'! As this song tells a story, it also makes your heart pump with the intense beat of the bass in the song. A great tune anytime, which can be seen here.
4. Brain Stew by Green Day
Hypnotizing guitar says what? This song as one of the most simplest combination of bass and chords, yet it is a fabulous song. I saw Green Day in concert a while back, and the crowd went crazy when they played this song. For those who live under a rock and have never heard this song before, you can hear the song here.
Well, there's my recommendations. I would love any other suggestions you all have. Who knows, Activision could be listening right now, after all , this is NewGrounds. By the way, I know I have a comma problem, it's so awexome!
Butterflies taste with their feet?
I'm seriously learning all these facts on the back of ketchup packets at school.
Each day, my friends Josiah and Oliver and I compare ketchup packets.
Yeah, that's probably the gayest thing I've ever said.
